I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I need moral support for this bender
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You were trust falling into bushes
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
