So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
