i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
