Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
