Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
