You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
