Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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