I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
