I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
