she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
