so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
