he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
