halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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