apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Two words: nipple clamps
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