Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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