Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
