He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
