So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
