Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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