I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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