so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
