we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize