dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
