Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Still dying that you shit outside
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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