During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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