Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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