I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
