I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
