also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
