i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
