Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Randomize
