Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
