I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
