Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
