how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
