apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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