I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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