i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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