Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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