I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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