We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
