Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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