East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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