i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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