i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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