then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
