no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize