dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you never un-have a 4some
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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