maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
