i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
