before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
