I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
