think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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