honey bunches of taint.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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