Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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