this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
