so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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