Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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