But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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