wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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